Stop Studying the Narcissist Like It's Your JOB & Walk Away: You Don't Need More Proof; How You Feel is Enough!
Oh, and how can I forget the second-guessing of myself? Maybe I was being too difficult or demanding. Maybe I really didn’t understand what a relationship was supposed to be like — I mean, I was an adult, so what was I doing believing in fairy tales?
You see, narcissists are experts at short-circuiting our inner guidance system — our intuition.
That deep, knowing voice inside you that once screamed, This isn’t right! gets drowned out by their endless justifications, gaslighting, and blame-shifting. Instead of trusting your gut, you start fixating on them. Their moods. Their reactions. Their ever-changing rules.
And that, my friend, is exactly how they keep you trapped.
The Obsession Trap
We waste so much time trying to diagnose, dissect, and decode narcissistic behavior. We Google their traits. We watch videos about covert vs. overt narcissists. We analyze whether they had a rough childhood, whether they’re “aware” of their behavior, whether they truly love us deep down.
Spoiler alert: It doesn’t matter.
Because here’s the real question you need to ask yourself:
How do YOU feel in this relationship?
Not how they think you should feel. Not what they tell you is normal. Not whether or not they “mean” to hurt you.
But how do YOU actually feel?
- Do you feel safe, valued, and loved?
- Do you feel heard and respected?
- Do you feel like your needs and emotions matter?
- Or do you feel drained, anxious, confused, like you’re walking on eggshells every damn day?
Because that is the only thing that matters.
The Power Shift: From Them to YOU
Narcissists thrive on keeping you stuck in a cycle of proving, explaining, and defending yourself. They want you hyper-focused on them so that you never have the energy to focus on yourself.
That stops now.
If you’ve been waiting for an epiphany, this is it: You don’t need more evidence that they suck. You don’t need to prove they’re a narcissist with a 42-page psychological analysis. You don’t need to gather “enough” reasons to leave.
You only need this: How you feel is enough.
If you feel depleted, anxious, and like a shell of who you used to be, that’s all the proof you need. No more justifying, no more waiting for the perfect moment, no more hoping they’ll suddenly see the light.
You get to choose YOU.
Trust Yourself Again
It’s going to take time to rebuild your trust in yourself, but it starts with one simple step: Believe your own feelings.
- If something feels off, it is.
- If you feel disrespected, you are.
- If you feel manipulated, you are.
- If you feel like you deserve more, you do.
No more mental gymnastics. No more trying to figure them out. You don’t need to understand their brokenness to walk away from it. You just need to trust yourself enough to say, I deserve better than this.
And you do.
So go ahead — take a deep breath, shake off the self-doubt, and start listening to the one voice that actually matters. Yours.
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