I Prefer My Salad Word Free: Dodging a Narcissist's Mind Games

 

Have you ever tried to have a genuine conversation with a narcissist? I don’t mean like a boring, bland, generic conversation about the weather — although even those can be landmines depending on the day or time or the tilt of the Earth on its axis.

I mean a serious conversation about… I don’t know… something like how to parent your children or how you feel invalidated and hurt when he calls you names or stonewalls you, or why he hasn’t paid the rent in two months.

Or maybe the narcissist brings something up because he (or she) has created a (completely ridiculous) narrative in their mind about some imagined transgression you have committed.

These conversations can make your head spin. The topic will be bounced around like a ping pong ball. You will find yourself wondering if you are even speaking the same language. Perhaps this is their native language (which seems to be actually from another planet — in which reality is NOT the same).

Welcome to the delightful world of word salad: the narcissist’s favorite dish, best served cold, hot, upside down, inside out, and completely devoid of logic.

What is Word Salad, Exactly?

Word salad is the narcissist’s way of ensuring that no conversation with them ever results in clarity, resolution, or accountability on their part. It’s a dizzying, nonsensical mix of deflection, projection, gaslighting, circular arguments, tangents, and just enough pseudo-logic to make you question your own sanity.

Here’s how it works:

  • You bring up a concern (because you are a reasonable human being who believes in communication).
  • They twist it into something completely unrelated.
  • You try to clarify.
  • They accuse you of something completely bizarre.
  • You defend yourself.
  • They get angry and tell you you’re overreacting.
  • You start crying or getting frustrated.
  • They smugly call you “crazy” or “too emotional.”
  • You feel exhausted, drained, and somehow… guilty?

Congratulations! You have just participated in an advanced-level Word Salad Olympics.

The Ingredients of a Narcissist’s Word Salad

  • Deflection: “Why are you always bringing up old stuff? What about that one time three years ago when YOU forgot to lock the door?”
  • Projection: “You’re accusing me of lying? You’re the one who’s dishonest!”
  • Gaslighting: “That never happened. You must be remembering it wrong.”
  • Circular Conversations: “I never said that.” “Yes, you did.” “No, I didn’t.” “I have screenshots.” “You’re always trying to trap me.”
  • Tangents & Nonsense: “You don’t even recycle properly, so why should I listen to you about finances?”

Why Do They Do It?

Control, my dear. Pure and simple. The narcissist does not want resolution, accountability, or mutual understanding. They want dominance over your emotions, your thoughts, and your sense of reality. If they can keep you spinning, they can keep you from seeing the truth: that they are the problem, not you.

How to Protect Yourself from a Word Salad Attack

  1. Recognize it for what it is. The moment the conversation stops making sense, pause and take a mental step back.
  2. Don’t engage in the game. If you argue with nonsense, you’ll only exhaust yourself. Don’t try to “win” because there’s no winning with a narcissist.
  3. Use the broken record technique. Pick one key point and repeat it. Example: “I need you to pay the rent.” When they try to derail, return to: “I need you to pay the rent.”
  4. Detach emotionally. Picture yourself watching a bad soap opera. Let them monologue. You don’t have to respond.
  5. Exit the conversation. Politely (or not) disengage. “I’m not doing this,” and walk away.
  6. Set boundaries and enforce them. Decide what you will and won’t tolerate. Example: “If you continue to talk in circles, I’m leaving this discussion.”

Final Thoughts

Word salad is exhausting, confusing, and designed to make you doubt yourself. But once you recognize the game, you can stop playing. Your peace of mind is worth more than their chaotic nonsense.

So the next time they serve up a fresh batch of word salad, just remember: you prefer your salad word-free. Toss it right in the trash where it belongs, and reclaim your sanity.

Stay strong, stay clear-headed, and don’t let anyone hijack your reality.

You’ve got this!

Join the Radiant Souls Newsletter!

Snark. Sass. Inspiration. And (Mostly) Helpful Tips & Recipes!

You’re fabulous, but let’s be honest — life can be a hot mess express. That’s where I come in. Sign up for my weekly(ish) newsletter, packed with just the right amount of snark, sass, and straight-up inspiration to keep you feeling empowered, laughing through the chaos, and maybe even whipping up a recipe that won’t set off the smoke alarm.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5-Minute Rituals to Shift Your Energy and Manifest Your Dream Life

Image
  Photo by  Bermix Studio  on  Unsplash Ever wake up feeling  meh  — like you need 3 cups of coffee, a pep talk from Oprah, and a sign from the universe just to function? Yeah, same. (In fact, I sometimes think I’m the Queen of “aww do I haaavvvee to?) But here’s the deal:  your energy determines what you attract . If you’re vibing low, you’re going to pull in stress, frustration, and more “meh.” But if you shift your energy — even just for five minutes — you can  reboot your mindset, realign with your goals, and start manifesting your dream life. I know, I know…I didn’t believe all the rah rah, cheering section either. Until I tried it! And the best part? You don’t need an hour of meditation or a full moon ritual (unless you’re into that, in which case, rock on 🌙). Just  five minutes  can make a difference. Here are  five quick, powerful rituals  to raise your vibe and get you back on track fast: Morning Power Affirmations (1...
Read more

Sleepwalking, Tea-Making, and Cat Wrangling: My ADHD Diagnosis Was in My Dreams (literally!)

Image
  I’ve always had a complicated relationship with sleep. Or rather, sleep has had a complicated relationship with me. I don’t just sleep — I  perform . I have walked, talked, argued, laughed, and even performed domestic duties, all while completely unconscious. I once woke up to find that I had made a full cup of tea in the middle of the night. The worst part? I don’t even  like  tea. Then there was the time my cat mysteriously ended up outside overnight. No one let him out. Well, no one  conscious , anyway. For years, I chalked this up to being “a little quirky.” Maybe I had a super-active imagination that just refused to shut off at night. Maybe my dream self was just far more productive than my awake self. Either way, it was weird, but not weird enough for me to think something was wrong. (Although my son’s girlfriend thought I may be possessed one night when she was trying to talk to me and I, eyes wide open, was not consciously aware). The Big ADHD Revelati...
Read more

How To Stop Playing Small and Start Living BIG!

Image
  Hey Radiant Soul, Let’s get real—how many times have you held yourself back? Said no when you really wanted to say yes? Shrunk yourself to make others comfortable? Dismissed your dreams with a casual “Maybe one day” —even though that day never comes? I see you. I’ve been you. And here’s the truth: You were not put on this earth to play small. Yet, so many of us do. We settle for relationships that don’t fulfill us, jobs that drain us, and routines that keep us in a loop of just getting by . We tell ourselves we’re too old , too busy , too late —and we shrink our lives into a safe little box. But here’s the thing: The box isn’t actually safe. It’s suffocating. It’s a slow death of your wild, beautiful, powerful spirit. And it’s time to break out. Why Do We Play Small? Before we dive into how to change, let’s call out the real reasons we keep ourselves stuck: 🔥 Fear of failure – What if I try and I fail? (But what if you try and you FLY?) 🔥 Fear of judgment – What wil...
Read more