The Gaslighting Game How to Spot It, Stop It, and Rise Above It

 

Photo by Tolga Ulkan on Unsplash

Can we talk about how incredibly damaging gaslighting is? It has become such a buzzword these days, being used in an almost offhanded way to express displeasure when someone says anything that “offends” the others’ viewpoint, even if the offense is just a difference of opinion.

But for those involved in a narcissistic — or hell, even a run-of-the-mill abusive relationship (if there is such a thing) — gaslighting has a far greater meaning. And it is oh so much more damaging than hurt feelings.

Gaslighting erodes the very foundation of one’s personhood. Diminishing the spark we all carry within is that tells us what’s right, what’s wrong, how the world is supposed to work, and even who we are.

It’s like tumbling through the looking glass in Alice in Wonderland, and coming out into a world where left is right, up is down, black is white, and rabbits tell time. It shakes the very fabric of your life.

Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of manipulation, designed to make you doubt your own reality, question your sanity, and keep you under someone else’s control. If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing your grip on the truth, constantly second-guessing yourself, or apologizing for things you shouldn’t be, you might be dealing with gaslighting.

But here’s the thing: once you see the game, you don’t have to play it.

How to Recognize Gaslighting

Gaslighting often starts subtly, making it difficult to pinpoint. Here are some red flags:

1. They Twist Your Words — You clearly remember what was said, but they insist you’re misremembering or making things up.
2. They Deny Events That Happened — Even with proof, they claim something never occurred or happened differently.
3. They Make You Feel Overly Sensitive or Crazy — “You’re too emotional.” “You’re imagining things.” “You always overreact.”
4. They Shift Blame — Instead of taking responsibility, they turn it around on you: “If you weren’t so difficult, this wouldn’t happen.”
5. They Isolate You — Making you question friends, family, or outside opinions to keep control over your perception.
6. They Use Confusion as a Weapon — Changing their story, contradicting themselves, or overwhelming you with details that make you doubt yourself.

Accepting It for What It Is

Here’s the hard truth — gaslighting isn’t about you. It’s about the gaslighter’s desperate need for control. Once you recognize it, you can start breaking free.

Steps to Acceptance:

• Acknowledge it without self-blame. You are not imagining things. Gaslighting is real, and it happens to the strongest, smartest people.
• Detach emotionally. Instead of engaging in their mind games, step back and observe their manipulation for what it is.
• Keep a truth journal. Writing things down can help you stay grounded when they try to twist reality.

Photo by Boban Simonovski on Unsplash

Building a Forcefield Against Gaslighting

You can’t control a gaslighter, but you can control how much access they have to your mind and emotions. Here’s how to protect yourself:

1. Trust Your Gut — If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t let someone else override your intuition.
2. Set Boundaries — “I’m not going to argue about something I know to be true.” Refuse to engage in circular arguments.
3. Limit Your Exposure — If possible, create space between you and the gaslighter. Protect your energy.
4. Have a Reality Check Partner — Confide in a trusted friend, therapist, or coach who can validate your experiences.
5. Use the “Gray Rock” Method — Be uninteresting and unreactive when dealing with a gaslighter. They thrive on emotional reactions — don’t give them one.
6. Affirm Your Truth — Regularly remind yourself: I know my reality. I trust my mind. I am grounded in my truth.

Affirmations for Healing

Gaslighting leaves wounds, but you can heal. These affirmations will help you rebuild your confidence and inner strength:

• I trust myself and my reality.
• I am not responsible for someone else’s distorted version of events.
• I am strong, clear-minded, and confident in my truth.
• I release the need for validation from those who manipulate me.
• I surround myself with people who uplift and empower me.
• I am worthy of respect, love, and honesty.
• I reclaim my power and stand strong in my own light.

Final Thoughts

Gaslighting thrives in silence, secrecy, and self-doubt. But once you name it, call it out for what it is, and step into your power, it loses its hold on you. You are not crazy. You are not too sensitive. You are not overreacting. You are awakening to the truth — and that truth will set you free.

You’ve got this.

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